Life is like a box of chocolates, said Forest Gump, you never know what you are going to get. A lovely hazelnut covered dark chocolate for your first dip and then a saccharine-sweet, minty, toothpaste-y flavour for the next. Open, empathetic leadership, where the hierarchy is seamless, is like that. One moment you are feeling good about the openness within the organisation, the fact that you can share what you want to with a team of peers and the next moment that information is being used to devalue your contribution to the organisation.

Happens all the time. You put your trust in a peer in a way you thought was empathetic and open, the peer kind of perceives it as a threat and ventures to put the competition out of the way in an underhand way. Or you trust a colleague with information about your own plans for your movement within the organisation, and lo and behold it is being used to make that colleague's own project management plan for the future. You only shared it to enable a better way of letting leadership within the organisation bubble up in an organic way, you didnt want the colleague to plan your exit from the organisation!

Does that mean you are not going to practice empathy or openness or aspire for an organisation where hierarchy is seamless. Of course, you are - its your learning curve, so you get up, brush your knees and begin with renewed vigour but with more watchfulness this time. Balance here is the main ingredient and recognising that human beings are essentially flawed. So you mix in your ingredients slowly and in a certain order - the right amount of openness, mixed with empathy, cutting back on how much vulnerability you are going to show, controlling your own passive-aggressiveness, and being self-aware through it all. Give yourself a good pat on the back when you see good results for the organisation. It is important to be aware that you are doing a good job even though it is all teamwork and even though no one is saying it to you. And keep what is best for the organisation at the back of your mind. Thats what I strive to do, and like a souffle, it all goes flat at times - then you throw it out and try again. And when it rises to its glorious heights, the joy is immense.

So here is my tried and tested orange souffle recipe - be sure to mix it all in the order written.

Oranges - 1 litre when juiced, some pulp can be there but make sure no pits

Eggs - 8, white and yolk separated

Sugar - half a cup or to taste

Gelatine - use the best you can get. I use Dr.Oetkar's premium leaf gelatine, 2-3 leaves, soaked in 2-3 tbsp of warm water

Lemon - juice of half a lemon

Cream - good quality, 1 litre

Mix the juice with the egg yolks and stir over low heat, or if you are very very careful, in a double boiler, till the juice thickens to a custard consistency. Add the sugar while you are cooking it - taste to see how much you would need. Remember you will be adding egg white an d ream to it so too little will become bland. The custard should thickly coat the back of the spoon you were stirring it with. Take it off the heat. Stir the gelatine which should be a colourless thick liquid now. Add the gelatine. Rest it till it is cool.

Whist the egg whites till they form stiff peaks - you can add a pinch of cream of tartare. Mix the eggs slowly into the bowl of custard.

Whisk the cream - do it in a cold bowl - till they form peaks. Add the cream at the end, mixing it all in. Put it in the fridge (not the freezer) for 4-6 hours. Enjoy!!