This blog is really about feminism and food and in my last two posts I have not really explored the relationship.

Women have complex relationships with food. They are the ones, in large numbers, who are involved in the growing, collecting, cooking, and serving of food the world over. When it comes to their own selves, deprivation often is the real situation. In poorer households women will go without food to feed her loved ones. They will scrimp and save to put the best they can manage on their family's plates, all the while silently putting their own desires on a hold.

In all kinds of households, they will ignore their own cravings or likes or even hunger, so that their loved ones can have 2nd or 3rd helping of everything. After I got married, in many family meals I noticed my mother-in-law will go without a second helping of a favourite item on the menu, so that I and my partner can have more. When one day I spoke up, the look of surprise on her face revealed that she might not have even noticed it herself, so strong was the social conditioning about serving your own family and ignoring your own needs, and I think that was the moment our friendship was put on a firmer ground.

One other reason of women starving themselves is obviously the fear of putting on weight and the relationship they have with their bodies. It is directly related to the objectification of women's bodies and the set standards of what they should look like. Food can make you unhealthy which means fat and that equals ugly. It can make you fat and that equals unhealthy and that means fat which is ugly. The other - and I can never understand this - a man who loves his food and consumes a lot is someone who is indulged and encouraged. The same will not hold true for a woman whose enjoyment of food might be the target for food and body-shaming and/or advice. Funnily, even eating less can bring on criticism where a woman is concerned. A delicate looking woman is criticised for eating a big meal - "she eats so much but never puts on weight." A large woman will definitely be criticised for eating a big meal - "going to give herself a heart attack." A thin woman will be criticised for not eating much - "eats like a bird, must be slimming, you should be watching those bones." You can never make anyone happy.

How and what you are eating can also come under a spotlight. I had a colleague who once in a residential workshop walked up to me at breakfast, took a look at my plate and said, "Oh! I never eat a cooked breakfast ever", cleverly implying that my plate of eggs and bacon was the reason why I was a size ohnevermind and she was a 10. (See, I cant even bring myself to be honest about my size on my own blog). Then again, are you putting a whole burger into your mouth, are you chomping your food or are you delicately shredding your dosa into neat little bites with your fork and spoon (I have seen a woman do that) and putting tiny morsels of food into your mouth, and eating without almost moving your mouth at all.

Things are changing though. I think women and getting better with their relationship with food. Or are they? At my daughter's 15th birthday, one after another, all the girls retuned their plates saying "Aunty, I dont eat cake." There goes Marie Antoinette, I thought, maybe they will have the pizza.

So for all women who enjoy their food, and eat it too, I made a super easy pork pulao - bengali ishtyle. I adapted the recipe I had of a mutton pulao - small chunks of pork in a flavourful rice - would you want to say no?

750 gms pork

11/2 cup long grained basmati rice

2 -3 tbsp oil

2 onions, thinly cut

2-3 cloves of garlic, 1 inch ginger - grinded and mixed with 2 tbsp curd

2 whole red chillies

1 tsp red chilli powder

1 tsp garam masala powder

Whole garam masala - 2 star anise, 8-10 peppercorns, 4-6 cloves, 4-6 cardamom, 3-4 cinnamon sticks 3-4 tejpatta a pinch of shahjeera

Salt to taste

Fry the onions in the 2 tbsp oil till they are brown and crisp and remove to a plate lined with kitchen paper

In a pressure cooker boil the pork. Keep the water.

Soak the rice in water for half an hour. Heat water for cooking rice, add half the whole garam masala. When the water is boiling, remove the masala, squeeze half a lemon, add some salt and add the soaked rice into the water. Cook the rice till it’s cooked al dente. Should not be overcooked. Remove from heat, strain.

In a pan, add a dash of oil. Add the rest of the whole garam masala. Add the ginger garlic paste, fry till oil comes out. Add the pork. Add a couple of tbsp stock from the pork. Add two whole red chillies. Mix well and cook till only a thin gravy remains.

Into this add the rice. Mix well, add salt if needed. Add a dash of red chilli powder and garam masala powder. Remove to a serving dish and add the onions. Serve with a burhani or raita.

#food #feminism #women #pork #pulao #